Kittens vs. Cougars
July 23, 2007

Every Monday, my friend Rose and I watch the show "Age of Love" on my couch. We light candles. We wear our fine jewelry. We drape ourselves in Chinese silk and pour champagne on each other's cleavage. Actually, none of... more

Waiting. Waiting! Waiting.
July 14, 2007

I am waiting for a check to arrive. The check is for $1500. I’m waiting for a few checks, actually, but it’s the $1500 one that gets all my attention. It’s for a story I wrote, approximately 50 years ago,... more

I'm Moving to C-Town, Home of Low Prices
July 10, 2007

It probably seems to you like I complain a lot about New York. There’s a reason for that. It’s because I do complain a lot about New York. Nice observation, kid. But that’s the gift of New York: Even after... more

Hell Is a Brooklyn Post Office
July 06, 2007

I used to think that the worst place in New York was the DMV. Then I actually went to the New York DMV, about a year ago, and found it to be a fairly painless experience. It was like being... more

The Only Thing Worse Than Eating at Jester Cafeteria Was Crying There
July 03, 2007

I went to college at the University of Texas. I remember it as a raging good time, full of late-night discussions that were equal parts Derrida and Flash Gordon. My freshman year, however, was a little rough. In part two... more