The Spirit of New Orleans. And Pirates.
April 22, 2007

A while ago, I mentioned that I’d been mugged in New Orleans. It wasn’t a metaphor. I really was mugged, and more than that, I’ve been flown down this weekend to testify in the trial against my accused. Talk about... more

Invasion of the Babies
April 20, 2007

I’ve been having this feeling lately that babies are taking over the world. It’s just a hunch. I’d put this alert at code pink. Maybe code mandarin. I guess I’ve just been overwhelmed by friends having babies recently. (Babies having... more

Thou Shalt Not Worship False Idols
April 17, 2007

When American Idol debuted in the summer of 2002, I was knee-deep into a 26,000 mile road trip around the country. I spent most days hiking, and driving, and recovering from bottle-smashing ragers with friends I visited. One of those... more

A Turbo Tax Dialectic: The Answer Is No.
April 17, 2007

Are you a victim of Hurricane Katrina? Were you or your family persecuted by Nazis? Are you an American Indian displaced by bloodthirsty colonialists? Do you think you may already be a winner? Did you club a seal this year?... more

The Old Woman Next Door
April 16, 2007

I’ve written a fair amount on this blog about my Brooklyn apartment. It’s a nice place, a frustrating place, an unlucky place, a beautiful place. I spent the first six months in Williamsburg kind of hating the neighborhood, feeling alienated... more

Good Sportsmanship
April 12, 2007

I am not the biggest sports person . Saying this is a bit like saying Michael Jackson isn’t entirely normal, that Johnny Depp looks okay in a suit. What is it with me and sports? Why did we go so... more

Lessons in Coffeeshop Etiquette
April 06, 2007

I get my cappuccino from the coffeeshop around the corner--a clean, white, tiny little place staffed by scruffy thirtysomething hipster dudes. Mostly, they’re nice. There’s this one guy who is especially nice—who says things like, “Heidy-do!” when I come in,... more

The Icy Fingers of Death Will Be More Like Furry Paws
April 06, 2007

I never wanted to be an animal person. You have to believe me on this. For years, for decades, I was the grumpy friend who hated your dog because all he did was sniff my crotch. I fed your cat... more

Traffic and Weather
April 03, 2007

I first discovered Fountains of Wayne driving along the AlCan Highway in the summer of 2002. For the 1200-mile stretch from Seattle to Fairbanks, my friend John had brought no less than 100 CDs, which he insisted, with great authority,... more

It's Early Yet, But I'm Ready to Call the Mr. Hepola Quote of 2007
April 01, 2007

My parents are the best. Have I told you about this? I know there are lots of things I claim are the best—a tart blue cheese, a crisp pilsener, a feather boa worn to breakfast—but it’s a lie. Honestly, it’s... more