A Lesson in Good Citizenship
November 29, 2005

I was in my bedroom, writing, when I heard a knock at the door. A knock? The cat and I looked at each other like a bomb had just exploded. What the hell was going on? People don’t just drop... more

Excuse My French
November 21, 2005

Last Tuesday, my friend Zac called. In addition to being my go-to guy for all things Elvis Costello and Saved by the Bell, Zac is also an editor at a prominent in-flight magazine, a job which is more interesting and... more

Ugh, Tannenbaum
November 11, 2005

Growing up, our Christmas tree was a strangely humble thing covered in straw ornaments and real candles (never lit, of course). It was a lovingly rendered replica of Christmas trees my mother saw in Germany, where she spent two years... more

Hole in One
November 09, 2005

Texans seem to know what a bagel looks like, but not how it should taste. Order a bagel in Texas, and you will likely receive something round with a bagel-type hole in the middle, and yet it’s nothing but a... more

New York Skitty
November 01, 2005

It is raining when I pick up the cat from L.’s place—crazy, end-of-the-world rain coming down diagonally. I stuff the cat in the carrier, muttering apologies to him as I smoosh in his stubborn head, detach his claws from where... more