May 2002

Too Far to Care

From May 18-31 I will be driving from Seattle to Alaska with my friend John. Can you believe that? Alaska. Nuts. What will it look like? Will there be bears? Will I lose my heart to a burly logger type,... more

Tales From the City (San Francisco)

I was tired when I got to San Francisco. Driving up the coast -- spectacular though it is, with its explosions of color, the crash of the waves always to the left -- demands attention. Turn here. No you're not... more

Li'l Smoky and the Bandit (Tales of the West Coast)

John Steinbeck named his Rocinante. William Least-Heat Moon, who wrote Blue Highways, named his Ghost Dancing. Michael Knight, of course, had KITT, and somebody (although I forget who) had Herbie. I have Li'l Smoky. I resisted it for a while.... more

Now Where Were We? (Los Angeles)

Like every good American kid, I grew up obsessed with celebrities. I practiced Michael Jackson's moonwalk in my bedroom. I wore the torn motorcyle glove of Billy Idol videos and the rubber bracelets of Madonna's "Lucky Star" phase. In fifth... more

How to Make It in Hollywood* (Los Angeles)

*Includes the Teachings of L. Ron Hubbard I have told these stories about Scientology so many times. I have told them at dinner parties and bars and over the phone and through email and is it possible that everyone is... more

But Wait: There's More! (Los Angeles)

Los Angeles is lousy with Scientology. There is the L. Ron Hubbard museum. There is the fabled Celebrity Chateau. There is the huge glass complex on L. Ron Hubbard Street, right off of Sunset, where a stadium-sized marquee flashes the... more

Apparently, Looking to Get Sued (Los Angeles)

The personality test is 200 questions long. It consists of statements to which you reply yes, no, or maybe. For example: "At a party, you have no problem starting a conversation with a stranger." I say yes. There are more... more

Believe It ... Or NOT! (Los Angeles)

On the corner of Hollywood and Highland, in the bustle of the city's most ridiculous tourist traps -- the Hollywood Wax Museum, the Guiness Book of World Records store, etc -- is the Ripley's Believe It Or Not! museum. 'A... more

Here is What I Have to Say About Los Angeles

The stories of Los Angeles will have the following components. There will be beaches and ocean waves and sunburns, stars' homes and celebrities (but only a few). Evenings when we live like rock stars, mornings when we pay. Movies and... more