oy, I have been wiped out by birthday-palooza. In the past week, I’ve been to a Yankees game, rocked a waterpark, worn five-inch red glitter platform heels for one incredibly fabulous evening, and seen Xanadu, which I’m ready to declare the best Broadway musical on rollerskates ever. (Take THAT, Starlight Express.) Being 33 is hard work. But that hasn’t kept me from working.

Last week, I wrote a satirical piece for “The Morning News” called “Age of Consent”, a spoof on all those countdown clocks for teen celebrities like Hayden Panettiere and the Olsen twins. Yes, it’s a joke, Mom. I’m not really suggesting anyone try to pick up Suri Cruise. Yet!