never wanted to be an animal person. You have to believe me on this. For years, for decades, I was the grumpy friend who hated your dog because all he did was sniff my crotch. I fed your cat while you were out of town, but I didn't care about your cat. As far as I was concerned, your cat was nothing more than a walking poop machine that shed all over my black shirt. It's not that I hated animals; it's that I didn't think about them. Ever.

What happened???? Sigh. It's a complicated story. A series of roommates with dogs, a slow loosening of the upper lip, AND MEETING THE BEST CAT EVER NO SHUT UP MY CAT IS THE BEST NOT YOURS. Now, I am an animal person. I despise myself! I go crazy about my cat. I sing him songs. I kiss him on the mouth. I live for the moments when he will pad up to me on the bed and settle himself on my stomach. He is curled up on the living room as I type this, one arm extended, and when I am done here, I will lay down beside him and rub him underneath the arms, which he really loves. FUCK ME I AM A CAT PERSON. Goddammit.

Anyway, every Friday, I write a Video Digest for The Morning News. Today's is a list of the Top 10 cutest animal videos online. Be careful. These could burn.