y parents are the best. Have I told you about this? I know there are lots of things I claim are the best—a tart blue cheese, a crisp pilsener, a feather boa worn to breakfast—but it’s a lie. Honestly, it’s my parents. And I’m not just saying that because I owe them about $800. (By the way, my dad just did a spit take on his V-8. He was all, “$800? Is that all you think you owe us??”)

Now, readers of Sarahhepola.com and friends of Sarahhepola Proper know that Mr. Hepola is somewhat famous for his malapropisms. When I was 16, and going away on vacation with my very wonderful first boyfriend, my father said to him, in all seriousness, “So, are you guys going to stay in a condom?”

He meant condo. This joke has been repeated many times.

Anyway, we were on the phone recently, and he was being very sweet, telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me (even though I know—I KNOW—that I occasionally write things that embarrass him), and he goes, “Well, we’ll talk to you later. We’ll keep reading your blob.”

YOUR BLOB! And then he realizes his mistake, probably because I laugh for ten minutes, so he goes, "And you quote me on that." And so I did. With great love.

Oh, and unrelated: A discussion on Gawker about my good friend Ada's breasts.