don't mean to watch him but there he is -- screaming at Oprah, jumping on Jay Leno's couch, whisking poor, petrified Dakota Fanning around the MTV Movie Awards. MAKE HIM STOP! I haven't seen this kind of overacting since Born on the Fourth of July. “When I think of her, things happen,” he has said. Oh, crazy, crazy Tom -- you couldn't seem gayer if you strapped on a leather thong and paraded down Castro with a rainbow flag. It would all be so funny if it weren't so insidious -- in a little-reported interview with Billy Bush, Cruise famously bashed Brooke Shields but also equated psychiatrists with street peddlers and called the entrire field a pseudoscience -- which is more than a bit hilarious, given the fact that his beloved “religion” is the equivalent of a 7th grade Coke-can science experiment. Puh-lease! If you care for Tom Cruise, avert your eyes -- and pray for an intervention.