he truth is that I stopped liking “Truth or Dare.” After about age 21, the dare part left me queasy. It seemed as though people always ended up making out uncomfortably or stuffing a full banana in their mouths, so my friend Aaron and I invented “Truth or Truth.” Aaron and I were prone to sitting around for five hours and talking about such pressing issues as the items we once bought at Spencer’s in the mall and whether 100 Grand of Bit-o-Honey was the most overlooked candy bar. Since our discussions consisted of just us, sitting around in his messy apartment, “Truth or Truth” kept both of us from some terrible fate such as, say, eating cat food. Conversations went like this.

Me: Truth or truth?
Him: Hmm. This time, for a change, I’m gonna choose truth.
Me. Okay. If you say so…

Since I forgot to look at my Pajama Party game this afternoon, I asked my boyfriend to supply me with a question in its absence. As I promised, I would answer a Truth question every Thursday. So, here we go.

Truth: What’s the stupidest thing you ever did drunk?

Answer: In my junior year, a bunch of us drove down from Austin to Dallas, ostensibly for the Texas/OU football game. Now, I know as much about football as I know about microbiology, so my agenda was simply seeing my folks and, perhaps, getting a free meal or two. Only I drank these humongoid Jack and Cokes the whole drive down, and I gulped them like I was a frat boy at the world’s last keg stand. So by the time we arrived in Dallas, I was wasted. Completely blotto. Apparently*, once we reached Dallas, I decided to moon the passing cars on the Tollway. Only problem: We were stuck in traffic. So what might have been a college prank became an excruciating exercise in embarrassment for my fellow passengers, who maybe tried to convince me that my activity was, perhaps, not as funny for them as it was in my little drunken gerbil head.

Me: Whoo-hoo!
Them: Whoa, there’s a naked ass.
Me: Whoo-hoo!
[SILENCE]
Me: Whoo-hoo!
[EMARRASSMENT, THEN A SICKENING DISINTEREST]
Me: Whoo-hoo!
Me: Whoo-hoo!

I never drank Jack and Coke again. Well, almost never.

*if you can believe all six witnesses in the car