n Saturday, I was catching up with my friend Tara, who lives in DC. Toward the end of the conversation, I casually slipped this in: “Did I mention I interviewed John Cusack?”
“John Cusack?" She gasped. "Oh my God, you’re my idol.”
“I think you mean that HE’S your idol.”
“Well, he’s my idol but you’re my other idol for interviewing him.”

Two things.
#1: I’ve interviewed a fair amount of celebrities, and I don’t think anyone has elicited as many squeals of disbelief as Cusack.
“It’s funny,” I tell Tara, launching into a speech I’ve honed at cocktail parties and bars. “Everyone loves Cusack. Guys tell me he’s the voice of their generation. Women tell me he’s their future husband. Women go NUTS for him. And he’s pretty average, really. Not all that famous, not all that handsome --”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Tara says. “He’s hot.”
“He is? I always thought he was more charming, really.”
“No way. Get me in a room with John Cusack for two seconds.”
“And what will happen?”
Tara thinks on this. “We’ll have sex!”

#2: Look, I love John Cusack. I lurrv John Cusack. But what’s curious is that by interviewing John Cusack, I somehow don the mantle of his coolness. Which isn’t fair, really. Because I’m just another fan, no closer to the man himself than the hotel doorman. Witness how I begin the interview.

Me: So how are you, John Cusack?
John Cusack: I’m fine. How are you?
Me: I’m a little nervous.
John Cusack: Why?
Me: Because you’re the coolest!
John Cusack: Aww. Now I know this is going to be a good interview.

But it’s not. It’s a colorless 15-minute phoner, probably pretty similar to the other 20 interviews he did that day with other starstruck reporters. Let me be clear: He was nice, and he was articulate, and he quoted Brecht, and he was blessedly forthcoming about his political dissent. But these are speeches he practices and presents to every reporter, the way I practised and presented an anecdote about John Cusack to Tara. After all, a good actor prepares.

All this is by way of introducing my latest story on The Morning News about interviewing celebrities (none of which are John Cusack). The Cusack interview will run in a few weeks to coincide with the Austin opening of his latest movie, Max. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this.