I sure wish you hadn’t done that. I was quite attached to my stereo, although (thanks to you) my stereo is no longer attached to my car. That stereo’s a nice piece of work -- at night, the knobs light up, alternating red and blue, a real showstopper. My car is awful quiet these days without her. I do, however, thank you for leaving the rest of the car’s contents intact:

1 Teenage Fanclub CD
1 Eminem CD
3 books on dance, borrowed
1 can of paint, needing disposal

Now that I think about it, I wish you’d taken the paint can, since I’m not sure what to do with it. (Can you just throw away a full can of paint or is it, like, toxic?) Also, I wish you’d jimmied the lock instead of bashing in that window, because replacing that will cost me cash-money. And not to mention you left my car, my never-say-die thoroughbred of a Honda, covered with shattered glass, red guts spilling out from where the stereo used to be, which is an unforgiveable sign of disrespect to an automobile of such magnitude. In general, I wish you hadn’t broken into my car. Fucker.

Thank you for your consideration,
Sarah Hepola