I Survived the Warped Tour
June 30, 2005

No shit.... more

Little Things I Write Sometimes
June 29, 2005

New episode, coupled with fabulous new illustration by Morning News artist Danny Gregory.... more

Other People's Money
June 28, 2005

Like most families, my parents and I fight about money. “Take a 20,” my dad says as I leave one evening. ”Dad, I’ve got money.” I guess our fight are different than most kids. My dad's always trying to give... more

Tom Cruise Must Be Stopped!
June 23, 2005

I don't mean to watch him but there he is -- screaming at Oprah, jumping on Jay Leno's couch, whisking poor, petrified Dakota Fanning around the MTV Movie Awards. MAKE HIM STOP! I haven't seen this kind of overacting since... more

Gustavus Adolphus, King of Sweden ("Gus" for Short)
June 18, 2005

The dog loves cheese and hates people. I can't say I blame him-the postman has never brought me anything to rival the joy of a triple-crème brie. And yet, this poses a terrible situation for my parents -- middle-class folk... more

Paging William Safire
June 07, 2005

There is a serious crisis in the media as to how to spell the much-beloved slang version of the word “bitch.” Today’s story on The Morning News suggests it is spelled “bi-atch,” which works within the context of the story... more

Stay-at-Home Me
June 02, 2005

My mom comes into my room every morning at 8am. “I hope I’m not waking you up.” “You’re not waking me up,” I say, waking up. I’m embarrassed that my mother and I often go to bed at the... more