A Very Merry Unbirthday To You
August 26, 2004

I remember turning 20. My roommate Tara had (unbeknownst to me) hired a stripper to appear at out party, and though the resulting cringe of that very event – the way his sweaty stubble burned when he rubbed his chest... more

Not Actually Going Insane
August 16, 2004

In case you were one of the five (okay, two) people who saw the rather nonsensical entry "Questions for Snoop Dogg" posted through the weekend, allow me to say that sometimes I have to do weird things for my job,... more

Announcing the Little-Anticipated Scavenger Hunt Results
August 10, 2004

I walked into the press tent at Ozzfest and there, snuggled in his young mama’s arms, was a baby with a mohawk. Cha-ching! This scavenger hunt was gonna be a breeze. But from there, I floundered. Girls showed their boobs—hell,... more

Scavenger Hunt at Ozzfest
August 05, 2004

This afternoon, I'm going to Ozzfest. You heard me: Ozzfest. I've never been, but I have seen the Penelope Spheeris documentary, which made it seem as though the whole place was populated by ugly teen boys with rape fantasies. In... more

Your Best Shot?
August 04, 2004

About a month ago, I wrote a story for a magazine. We’ll call it “Vanity Fair.”* I’d turned in the story to my editor, “Graydon Carter,”* who then emailed to say he needed a portrait of me pronto. Did I... more