Good God, Y'all: The Grammys Report
February 28, 2002

Forget Alicia Keys. This year's Grammys belongs to God. From the opening moments -- U2's "Hallelujah" rendition of "Walk On" -- to the gospel finale, introduced by Michael W. Smith. Michael W. Smith! Do you know who that is? Well,... more

I Spit on Your Concrete
February 27, 2002

It's a clear day. The clouds are like, clouds in a clear sky. Like cotton. Like clouds. My saliva is thick and stringy and voluminous. I could hardly keep it inside my mouth during kickboxing class, which stomped all over... more

It's Open Mike Night!
February 21, 2002

Some of you know Mike Gentry and to the rest of you, my condolences. At Sarahhepola.com, we owe Mike a lot -- he's the one who set us up on this website and the person we whine to when things... more

The road I walk up
February 20, 2002

The road I walk up is empty and ugly, flat. I live on the fringes of the city, in a neighborhood of winding streets sandwiched between major intersections, and walking in the neighborhood can feel like literally going in circles.... more

Pauper's Grave
February 20, 2002

The road I walk up is empty and ugly, flat. I live on the fringes of the city, in a neighborhood of winding streets sandwiched between major intersections, and walking in the neighborhood can feel like literally going in circles.... more

The following comes from my
February 14, 2002

The following comes from my friend Julie in Los Angeles, who is hanging out with a mutual good friend of ours named Bryan, the significance of which is that she talks about him in this question oh well, you'll see:... more

A Reconsideration of the Query
February 14, 2002

The following comes from my friend Julie in Los Angeles, who is hanging out with a mutual good friend of ours named Bryan, the significance of which is that she talks about him in this question oh well, you'll see:... more

As a single woman, I
February 14, 2002

As a single woman, I find it rather odd, even embarrassing, when someone gives me a Valentine's Day present. I know people do this to be nice, or to show affection, but it always seems to say the wrong thing,... more

A Few Suggested Gifts That You Could Buy Me
February 14, 2002

As a single woman, I find it rather odd, even embarrassing, when someone gives me a Valentine's Day present. I know people do this to be nice, or to show affection, but it always seems to say the wrong thing,... more

A Query
February 12, 2002

I have one thing to say about this year's Academy Award nominations: ETHAN HAWKE?????... more

I have one thing to
February 12, 2002

I have one thing to say about this year's Academy Award nominations: ETHAN HAWKE?????... more

Painting the Bedroom
February 11, 2002

I am painting the bathroom in the house where I am staying. It is an outrageous and glorious pink. Like I can't believe just how PINK it is. It is sort of an appalling pink. But I'm going to try... more

I am painting the bathroom
February 11, 2002

I am painting the bathroom in the house where I am staying. It is an outrageous and glorious pink. Like I can't believe just how PINK it is. It is sort of an appalling pink. But I'm going to try... more

Along with a series of
February 10, 2002

Along with a series of other questions that I will answer later in the week, my friend David Snyder writes the following: "Sarahhepola.com should have more dialogue. We like dialogue, and sarahhepola.com does it very well." Well, David, I appreciate... more

More Dialogue
February 10, 2002

Along with a series of other questions that I will answer later in the week, my friend David Snyder writes the following: "Sarahhepola.com should have more dialogue. We like dialogue, and sarahhepola.com does it very well." Well, David, I appreciate... more

The question is: Do we
February 07, 2002

The question is: Do we regret? But the answer is that we don't actually have an answer. See, we think that we probably regret things all the time. Like way more than average. Being a perfectionist and a tad on... more

Part Three: Do We Regret?
February 07, 2002

The question is: Do we regret? But the answer is that we don't actually have an answer. See, we think that we probably regret things all the time. Like way more than average. Being a perfectionist and a tad on... more

Part Two: How I Quit
February 06, 2002

To get back to the question: Am I fixed? Was I broken? I mean, no and maybe. Maybe I wasn't broken enough. AA works best for the seriously desperate, the bottom-scrapers, the last gaspers, those who stopped giving a fuck... more

To get back to the
February 06, 2002

To get back to the question: Am I fixed? Was I broken? I mean, no and maybe. Maybe I wasn't broken enough. AA works best for the seriously desperate, the bottom-scrapers, the last gaspers, those who stopped giving a fuck... more

I was a few days
February 05, 2002

I was a few days into this question-from-readers thing, all giddy about tackling everything with complete honesty or, at least, smug sarcasm, when my friend Julie -- my best friend, really -- sent the following: "One thing is I'm kind... more

Part One: Why I Quit
February 05, 2002

I was a few days into this question-from-readers thing, all giddy about tackling everything with complete honesty or, at least, smug sarcasm, when my friend Julie -- my best friend, really -- sent the following: "One thing is I'm kind... more

I went to a rock
February 04, 2002

I went to a rock show and got drunk and felt powerful and later that night, after the lights came up and no one but the groupies were left, I blathered on to my friends about how we were alive... more

Lonesome and Losin'
February 04, 2002

I went to a rock show and got drunk and felt powerful and later that night, after the lights came up and no one but the groupies were left, I blathered on to my friends about how we were alive... more

The following questions come from
February 03, 2002

The following questions come from someone who identifies himself merely as Meester "Horno" Hornindale. I don't understand either. 1. Are you now, or have you ever been, on the payroll of Enron? If so, what were your duties and what,... more

Some Answers, Meester
February 03, 2002

The following questions come from someone who identifies himself merely as Meester "Horno" Hornindale. I don't understand either. 1. Are you now, or have you ever been, on the payroll of Enron? If so, what were your duties and what,... more

A Respite
February 01, 2002

No questions will be answered on Sarahhepola.com today due to my stunning ability to yap away for four hours on a friends' couch.... more

No questions will be answered
February 01, 2002

No questions will be answered on Sarahhepola.com today due to my stunning ability to yap away for four hours on a friends' couch.... more