here is a serious crisis in the media as to how to spell the much-beloved slang version of the word “bitch.” Today’s story on The Morning News suggests it is spelled “bi-atch,” which works within the context of the story but is too easily misread. In an old story I wrote, I went with “beeatch.” Still, last week’s Phoenix New Times cover posits it should be spelled “beeahtch!” Well, that’s just ridiculous. But we’re not through: A Google search for “beeotch” yields around 14,000 hits and the really-stretching-it “biyotch” a little over 4,700. What’s a spelling-conscious slangster to do? Go to UrbanDictionary.com, of course. Their choice? The pleasingly phonetic "beeyotch."

Booya, bitch.