ecently, I have had the great fortune to contribute a few pieces to The New York Times. My latest, about comedian Margaret Cho, ran last Sunday. On occasion, I receive lovely emails from friends congratulating me on it or complimenting certain parts. These are wonderful to get, and I do say: Keep them coming.

However, there is a certain comment I cannot abide. It confuses me. It stymies me.

"Hey, I saw your piece in the Times."

"You did? Uh, well, thanks."

To say "thank you" sounds presumptuous. After all, this hypothetical-person-who-is-definitely-not-my-brother proffered no value judgment. He (or she!) simply saw the piece. The piece was in front of them. They saw it. Or did they read it? Hard to tell. "Saw" is one of those vague, blurry words - could mean they read it, skimmed it, started it and pissed all over it in protest. The ambiguity of meaning is what makes the word so useful - and frustrating.

It's not that I expect people to read what I write. And it's not that I expect people to like what I write. (But I'll cry, cry, cry if you don't!) I simply don't know what this person is saying. Not, "I saw your piece, and I liked it." Not, "I saw your piece, and I haven't read it yet, but congratulations." Not, "I saw your piece, and that shit stank." But just a simple, declarative statement. I saw your piece.

I mean, what do you say? "Yes, well, it was there."

I place the phrase "I saw your piece" in the category of those well-meaning but pointless sayings that wriggle their way into common usage. Like when I'm talking on the phone with my friend, and I discover another friend is with her. "Tell her I said hi!"
"Okay. She says hi back."
What are we doing?
Or the other day, I was at a social gathering and a brother's friend said, "I'll tell my sister I saw you."
"Please do," I said. But why? I guess most of the time, we just don't know what to say to one another. And out of politeness, or fear, we grapple for the first thing that comes to mind. Like when you see someone, and you say, "I saw your boyfriend the other day."
I mean, big deal.

But it's a gesture, at least, an attempt at connection. I saw your piece, and maybe I read it or maybe I haven't yet, because there's so much to read in this world, and I never get around to half of it, and anyway I'm embarrassingly under-read to begin with, but I was happy for you when I saw your name there, right there in the Old Gray Lady on Sunday, in that stern all-cap bold font, and you should know that I know this about you, or maybe, I might even care.

Hmm. Now that I can understand.