"I ain't payin' $8 for that," the guy from Jersey says.
I can't pay $8 for that. My wallet contains exactly $3 and a coupon for Canadian Tire.
"You sit in a car, look up at the thing. Big deal. I can't wait around all night for this," he says. His sweatshirt says "Hawaii." "I just want my picture and then I'm outta here."
Honestly, I just want my picture too. It's hard to get excited about four faces carved on a mountain. This is the silliest National Monument. I wanna know what ideas were rejected at the pitch meeting. The world's biggest ball of tinfoil? An ice sculpture?
"You know, they're talking about puttin' Reagan up there," the Jersey guy says. He keeps scanning the street for cops.
Ugh. I know. "If they put Reagan up there, I hope they put up the chimp."
He says nothing. I suddenly wonder if by "chimp" he thinks I mean Bush.
Finally, when the sky is totally dark, a pinprick of light appears on the Monument, right about Jefferson's nose. A gasp rises from the parking lot below us as "The Star Spangled Banner" begins to play over the loudspeaker. The light spreads slowly, over Teddy Roosevelt's front teeth and up to his monocle. To Lincoln's sunken right cheek. By the song's crescendo the whole thing is lit up, even Washington's nose, silhouetted against the night sky. The crowd bursts into applause.
"I thought there was gonna be fireworks or something," the guy from Jersey says.
I actually thought there was going to be a laser show.
We take our pictures and move on.