rompt #5: So, I sent in a question a week ago, but you still haven't answered it. What does that mean?
Sent in by: Hostile Reader
Answer: It means I don't like you.

Prompt #6: No, be serious for a moment. Did you not like the question? Or does this mean you won't answer it?
Sent in by: Less-Hostile-and-More-Like-Curious Reader
Answer: I'll answer it. I'll answer any question at all. It's just that some questions came in later or require more thinking or time to write or -- okay, look at it this way: I'm trying to create this dramatic arc. And like any artist, I want to hit the right pitch at just the right time. That requires a certain shuffling of questions in order to create the emotional crescendo. Mozart would do the same thing. If your solicited questions were musical notes, Mozart would have to balance and manipulate them so that, hmm, forget the Mozart thing. It's no good. The point is that I'll get around to it. I love answering questions. It makes me feel like I'm being interviewed for Rolling Stone or something. It's like therapy, a kind of ideal therapy where the doctor actually asks you questions and doesn't nod off to sleep (true story).

Prompt #7: So I'm just supposed to keep checking your little egotripping Website until you answer my question?
Sent in by: Not-Curious-So-Much-As-Frankly-Offended-at-Your-Egocentrism Reader
Answer: Yes

Prompt #8: So wait. Did your therapist really fall asleep on you?
Sent in by: Offended-Sure-But-Still-Vaguely-Curious Reader
Answer: Actually she did. It was scarring. She didn't even apologize or cancel the appointment. One of my "issues" was my inability to confront people, so I said, "Umm, I'm kind of afraid you're falling asleep right now." And she just smiled and said, "Well, it was a long night." Like she'd been at a keg party or something! And I was so freaked out, so floored by it that I just kept blathering on, until I left her office and just burst into tears.

Prompt #9: Ah-ha! I tricked you! You answered my question.
Sent in by: You-Thought-You-Were-Smarter-Than-Me-Well-Missy-Think-Twice Reader
Answer: That's it, I'm going to bed. Good night.

Prompt #10: Good night. Hey -- hey, listen you're not mad at me, are you? About the way I tricked you? I'm sorry about that. And I'm sorry about your therapist. That sucks. You're -- you're still gonna answer my question about the poop, right?
Sent in by: Really-a-Nice-Guy-When-You-Get-to-Know-Me Reader
Answer: Yes. I will answer all questions. Even the ones about the poop.